The Confidence You Forgot You Had
We live in fear.
Not the kind that sends you sprinting from danger. The slower kind. The kind that sits behind your eyes at 2 a.m. and asks, “What if this isn’t it?”
It’s the fear that creeps in when you're about to speak up. When you're about to change careers. When you're thinking of walking away, or stepping forward, and have no clue what’s waiting on the other side.
It’s the voice that whispers:
What if I fail?
What if they reject me?
What if I lose everything I’ve built?
What if I’m just not enough?
It doesn’t yell. It erodes. Slowly chipping away at who you are. And the more you listen to it, the smaller your world becomes.
Still, we chase confidence like it’s a finish line. We want to walk into rooms feeling sure of ourselves. We want to make decisions without that tightness in our chest. We want to stop needing proof we belong.
But for so many people, confidence feels elusive, like something you once had and somehow lost.
You Didn’t Forget Confidence, You Were Taught to Doubt It
Most people don’t forget confidence. They just get trained out of it.
Not because they’re weak. But because life hit them hard. A breakup. A job loss. A parent who never said “I’m proud of you.” A risk that didn’t work out, or ten in a row.
Confidence didn’t disappear. It got buried under disappointment. Under experiences that reinforced the lie: “You’re not good enough.”
And eventually, the fear doesn’t just show up before you act, it becomes the reason you don’t act at all.
Confidence was never meant to be something that depended on anything other than a commitment to believing in yourself.
You rebuild it one decision at a time. One small act of defiance...
Fear Isn’t Your Enemy, It’s Just the Gatekeeper
Fear isn’t there to stop you. It’s there to ask you a question.
“Are you serious about this?”
Because every time you grow, fear shows up first. When you’re about to launch something that matters. When you’re about to say something true. When you’re about to become someone you haven’t fully met yet.
The fear doesn’t mean “stop.” It means “get ready.”
But most people never make it past that moment. They confuse discomfort with danger. They think feeling uncertain is a reason to turn back, when really, it’s the sign you’re exactly where you need to be.
What Kind of Person Are You in the Rain?
Picture this.
You’re inside, looking out the window. It’s raining. Hard. You’ve got somewhere to be, but the idea of getting soaked just… bothers you. So you wait. You refresh the radar. You get frustrated. You tell yourself, “I’ll go when it clears up.”
But it doesn’t.
Now imagine another moment. You’re already outside, and the rain starts.
There’s no time to think. You’re already wet. And after the first few seconds, you stop resisting. You keep walking. You let the water hit you. And maybe, just maybe, you enjoy it.
Because you've already decided: you're going to get wet. And that being wet is ok. The fear is gone. The resistance is gone. All that’s left is movement. And presence. And progress.
Confidence works the same way.
One version of you waits for the fear to go away. The other decides that fear is part of the journey.
One version of you delays, overthinks, stalls out. The other looks up, smiles, and says, “Let’s go.”
The Life You Want Is on the Other Side of That Storm
Imagine the bold, fulfilling, aligned version of your life.
It’s out there. But there’s a storm between you and it.
You want to feel confident? You have to be willing to get wet.
You have to risk rejection. You have to risk being seen. You have to risk letting go of a version of yourself that’s safe but stuck.
You walk into the rain not because you like it, but because you’ve decided that nothing matters more than moving forward and getting to your destination.
And yeah, it’ll suck at first. You’ll get drenched. But eventually, you’ll accept that you're wet. Instead of fearing it, you'll learn to walk with it. You’ll realize the worst thing that could happen… already did, and you’re still standing.
That’s where confidence is built. Not in the waiting. Not in the planning. In the walking.
Confidence Is a Practice, But It Was Always Yours
We’re all born with confidence.
Watch a child. They don’t hold back. They stumble, fall, crash into the coffee table, and then get right back up. They don’t care if they look silly. They don’t ask if they’re qualified to try. They trust themselves without question.
That’s confidence. It’s not ego. It’s not loud. It’s just the natural state of someone who hasn’t been told they’re less than.
But over time, the world starts whispering. “Be careful.” “Don’t mess up.” “Are you sure you can do that?”
So we play smaller. We hesitate. We start needing permission. And eventually, we mistake that hesitation for who we are.
But confidence didn’t leave you. It just got buried under doubt, disappointment, and fear pretending to be “realism.”
Confidence was always there. It’s still there now. You just have to give yourself permission to practice it again.
That’s what confidence is. Not a gift. Not a personality trait. A choice. A skill. A way of relating to yourself.
You don’t have to feel fearless. You just have to be willing: willing to show up, to learn, to fall, and to get back up knowing that none of it defines you.
That’s confidence. Not the absence of fear, but the quiet decision that you’ll figure it out anyway.
Life Is Bigger Than Your Fear
You’ve survived worse than this. You’ve made it through things that should’ve broken you. You’ve done brave things before, even if you forgot.
So here’s the question:
Are you going to let that event, that person, or that moment decide how much you believe in yourself? Are you going to let it shape the rest of your life? Or is this the moment you move forward and take your life back?
The fear will still be there. The rain will still fall.
But you?
You’ve got places to go.
– Dr. Benjamin Ritter
P.S. Want someone to face that storm with you? Check out the four ways I can help below…
1. Work with me as your private coach
If you’d like to work with me directly to create a fearless career and become the most important leader in your life... just send me a direct message with the word “Private." Tell me a little about yourself and what you’d like to work on together, and I’ll get you all the details. You can also schedule some time here.
2. Grab a copy of my book
Becoming Fearless is the roadmap to overcoming self-doubt and creating mastery in your career and life. Click here to get your copy.
3. Watch my free masterclass
Are you feeling stuck in your career or unsure of your next step? My free masterclass is designed to help you break through those barriers and unlock your full potential. Click here to check it out.
4. Explore my podcasts and media appearances
I'm passionate about helping leaders and individuals create meaningful careers and lead fearlessly. Through my podcasts and various media appearances, I share insights on leadership, personal growth, and career mastery. Listen here for our podcasts, and here for guest appearances.