Why You Want More, and What to Do About It

Every one of my clients seeks something more in life.

Yet, they often grapple with a sense of guilt for wanting more.

They're in a dilemma: Should they strive for more, or should they learn to be content with their current state and identity?

Stepping back from these emotions, it becomes apparent that this pursuit of more is somewhat ironic. In seeking more, one might overlook the value of what they already possess.

You might be content without realizing it, because you're caught up in the pursuit of happiness.

However, desiring more isn't inherently negative, provided it's not about filling a void or stemming from a sense of deficiency.

Consider this: What if you're content with your life, yet you're open to exploring new experiences?

This marks the difference between someone new to my coaching and someone who has completed the program.

Initially, they view more as a deficiency or an unwarranted desire.

It's perceived as a missing piece or an absent feeling, which naturally leads to stress.

Feeling incomplete can be daunting.

But, after going through the coaching process – gaining clarity, establishing a strong personal and professional brand, building confidence in oneself and one’s abilities, exercising control in work and life, setting boundaries, nurturing positive relationships, and prioritizing –

More becomes an 'addition to' an already complete self.

That's a powerful realization.

Consider where your desire for more originates: Is it from a place of lack or completeness?

If it's to fill a void, it's crucial to understand that void before pursuing more.

If it’s because you’re already fulfilled yet still yearn for more, then embrace this desire positively.

As a young aspiring professional athlete, my pursuit of more was driven by a feeling of inadequacy.

This 'lack' led to constant self-doubt, frustration, negativity, and a bleak daily existence.

Now, understanding who I am, aligning with my values, and presenting myself authentically, my pursuit of more is exhilarating.

It’s about seeking knowledge, experiences, challenges, novelty, and embracing life!

By scrutinizing our feelings before accepting or judging them, we can identify actions that truly benefit us.

Do you need to address a deficiency, or do you need to inject challenge and novelty into your life? These distinct approaches to seeking more each have their merits.

Both strategies bring clarity to perceived deficiencies and enable you to understand why you seek more, allowing you to appreciate the present for what it is, rather than for what it lacks.

That is the essence of living true to oneself.

Thanks for listening everyone,

Dr. Benjamin Ritter, Leadership and Career Coach, Live for Yourself Consulting

Interested in Coaching programs to start creating more in your life? Schedule a time here to see if you're a fit.